MMMMmmmmm. Grease! Southern Cooking!

our sunday lunch

who knew it was so good.

and dangerously close to my house.

Some credit where it's VERY due...

Some of the photos (from our wedding and that sort of thing) around here are by the incomparable Carmen B. Michael of CBM Photo. She's based in Birmingham and is quite lovely all around. Just wanted to make sure that was clear: The good photos = Carmen.

She also happens to be my sister-in-law. But that's sort of besides the point. Sort of.

Carm, you're fabulous. Thanks for documenting almost every special moment in the last year for us. We couldn't be more grateful.

The new man in my life. (don't worry, he's my nephew)

He came on St. Patrick's Day.

I love him.

Look at that face.

My Grandmother calls him Zeke. We're not sure why.

Joshua Parker

March 17, 2010

7 lb. 11 oz.

Spring

It’s Spring. I returned to the States at the beginning of last year, but somehow this year feels like the first spring I’ve had in oh so long. Perhaps I was too deeply embroiled in culture shock and recovery from two years living in Africa, or long distance dating Graham from Virginia to Alabama, or just too self-focused and neurotic to notice the changes all around me.

For whatever reason, I missed it. Judge me, it’s alright.

This year, it’s different.

I was driving back last weekend from my parent’s home in Virginia to North Carolina along highways and country roads and everywhere I looked somehow, overnight it seemed, it was Spring. A little something inside me melted as I took it all in, and a grin settled on my face as I drove in the gathering dusk across the stateline. Flowering cherries, Bradford Pear trees, redbuds, tulip trees. Green, green grass and daffodils popping up all over the place.

At the risk of sounding insipid and ridiculous, I was enchanted. Any moment I excepted little fairies to spring out of the woods carrying small lanterns and offering me a pretty dress to wear (they do that, you know). Leave me alone, I want to have my moment.

It was as if all was right in the world and all that was once (and perhaps still) uncertain would most certainly be okay.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that this year of all years, I’m enjoying seeing little saplings sprout and trees that were dead and dry bloom, and feeling the sun again. I even resent the freckles will inevitably begin their annual takeover of my face a bit less this year.

Maybe it’s because I’m married and all lovey dovey. And that’s probably a part of it. Or maybe it’s just so hopeful seeing little daffodils poking out after such a long winter. And that my heart is slowly coming out of an even longer, harder winter. Last year was such a strange time for me. Coming back and feeling all those things after my term in Africa (I call it affectionately “the crazy”), working through it with Graham, my family, and a well trained counselorJ, getting engaged and married, beginning a new life in a new place with a new job. The crazy seemed ever present.

But joy comes in the morning. Somehow, I am and continue to heal. To hope.

It’s really nice.

So, it was a long winter. That happens.

But it’s Spring now. For all of us. I pray today brings you hope.

Go do something Springy:

http://www.nationalcherryblossomfestival.org/cms/index.php?id=390

http://raleighdurham.about.com/od/localeventsandfestivals/a/Springtime-Festivals-in-Raleigh.htm

You, Me...Life.

Three years ago on Friday, this guy asked me if we could talk one afternoon. I didn’t know him all that well, really. We were in Virginia, at a training to prepare us to go overseas and work. He was headed to South America. I was headed to North Africa. There were a lot of people our age at the training and with such different destinations, we weren’t around each other much. Nonetheless, after dinner, this guy and I walked to a swing set (centrally located, I mean I don’t know this guy, right?) and he began to express that he had feelings for me (the good kind) and had had them for some time. He wanted us to get to know each other and see where it went.

I just sort of stared at him, kept swinging on my seriously child-sized swing, and thought about it.

On one hand, this was weird. I mean WEIRD. He was a wonderful guy –that was clear, but we didn’t really know each other. And in exactly 10 days we would leave said training center and go to different continents for the duration of our two year terms. Two years. 10 days. And did I mention the different continent thing? Yeah. Who does that?

On the other hand, I had felt very clearly in the months leading up to this day that I wasn’t going to just date to date anymore. I was sick of guys who didn’t know what they wanted. I was confident that the Lord had someone for me who would know what he wanted. He would be able to discern his feelings and tell me. Then and only then would I take him seriously. (SIDE NOTE everyone thought I was crazy for thinking this… I mean what guy would do that? Plunge forward into relationship wilds with no hope of a returning of feelings?)

So I told him that we could get to know each other.

And now we’re married. The end.

There’s actually a lot in between, but I’ll save that for another day.

For now, I’m so thankful. That he was a man who knew what he wanted and knew what his heavenly Father was telling him and was willing to move forward in confidence. And then for being utterly lovely ever since. I love him a lot. As in a WHOLE lot.

He might as well have come with a note attached to his sleeve that read "Dear Sue, You're welcome. Love, God"

Happy three years Graham.

Just call me...indecisive. That's for sure.

Decisions have never come easily for me. Let's just be honest...if you have ever lived with me, been a close friend to me, or eaten at a sit down restaurant with a large menu with me, you know this.

In Africa, the decisions coming my way were of a different sort than I was used to, and oddly enough, I was relatively good at making them. Rickshaw or Walk? Check the temperature. Over 100, rickshaw. Under, uh, rickshaw. Bring the satellite phone or leave it? Bring it- you never know when this place is going to explode. Moullah Bamia (okra stew) or chicken kabob? C'mon.

Ironically, when life and survival weren't quite so easy, choices became much clearer.

And yet, here I am back in the land of opportunity and plagued with the same chronic indecision I suffered from before. Cutting off options by making a decision is more difficult when the alternatives are more pallatible than okra strew and walking in 110 degree weather. Where to work? What to study? How to spend my time? How to spend my money! Should I go to grad school or go back to teaching?

So I am struggling through them as before, but this time it's a bit different. I have another half to make decisions with. His name is Graham. And we're getting married in like 18ish days (January 1). He wants me to be me more than even I want me to be me. Somehow that makes me want to be me very badly.

And it turns out Jesus wants that too. Don't misunderstand, I'm not advocating a narcissistic mentality of "getting yours" at the expense of others- or even prioritizing MY STORY over the rather amazing story that is and was unfolded in the Gospel. Quite the opposite. It turns out that Jesus made me to FIT quite nicely into his already unfolding story of hope. So I'm asking him to continue to dredge and clean up those parts of me that do no one any good (there are many) and help me fight for the parts that he put in me "special order".

So while this realization has not yet made my grad school choice or revealed my ultimate calling, I am confident of two things: 91) when God set up marriage- that was on purpose. We need each other. It'll probably be stinky sometimes, dating is sometimes when one or both of us gets lost in ourselves. But I wouldn't go back. And I'm thankful to be Graham's biggest fan and know that he's mine. And (2) The Lord will show me, and it'll come together. It always does. I decided the whole "man I'm going to marry" thing AND lunch today at O'Charley's so I bet grad school and life calling are right around the corner.

She's Back!

THAT'S right folks...she's back. Only this time she's bigger, back in America, and better than ever.

Or something like that.

I am back in America. I live in North Carolina now. It's quite a change from life overseas in a place like Africa. I am also engaged. Mind blowing, I know. Well, that's not entirely true, mostly likely as those who read my blog are probably people who would know that already- considering that my two dedicated readers are my fiance and my mom. Thanks guys!

Anyway, life may not be exciting in the same ways, but it is what it is and I'm thankful to write about it. Ironic that it's been almost a year exactly since I last wrote- the Autumn Backdrop still works!

Wedding: three months from today.